Dieter Stach

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I once had the miserable opportunity to be an 11^th wheel. That’s right – just me, a single young adult at the time, having dinner with 5 couples. I watched for 2 hours as they talked about favorite date spots, laughed about funny quirks their partners exhibited, and scheduled double dates, and since I had never seriously dated anyone in my short 18 years of life, I had nothing in common with anyone there.

To top it all off, after the meal was done and everyone was saying goodbye, my friend came up to me and said “Dieter, you need to get a girlfriend so we can double date!”

I was not happy. I had just endured 2 hours of people excluding me from conversation only to be told the only reason I wasn’t welcome in any of the discussion was because I hadn’t met my future wife yet!

I left that night feeling more isolated than I ever had in my life. I felt so alone, so cut off from community and relationship. And I think that’s something many of us are feeling now. When society has shut down, people have been forced to stay home, and our ability to connect with our communities has been so limited, it’s easy to succumb to the weight of loneliness. It’s easy to sink into the feeling that if we’re feeling lonely, there must be something wrong with us. And that’s understandable. We feel lonely, and something deep inside us tells us that it’s not good to feel lonely.

I have a hot take for you: Feeling lonely doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you — it’s actually a gift from God.

Feeling lonely doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you — it’s actually a gift from God.

I know. That doesn’t sound right. Let me explain what I mean: Loneliness is an appetite. Just like we have appetites for food, pleasure, and for all our favorite televised sports to return, we have an appetite for intimacy. Loneliness is our God-given indication that lets us know we are not receiving the intimacy we require.

But here’s the catch: Not any old connection will satisfy the appetite. In my 11^th wheel experience I was surrounded by people, but still felt lonely. Intimacy is not about being with people, it’s about the quality of the relationships.

The writer of Hebrews describes it like this: “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25). See, we’re not designed to simply receive intimacy from others. God has designed us to derive a deep sense of intimacy by actively participating in building each other up.

We’ll be returning to in-person services at our Manassas and Winchester campuses on October 4^th. Hallelujah! But after this time of isolation, maybe Jesus is calling us to do more than show up. Maybe He’s calling us to use our skills and passions to make a difference by joining a Serve Team? Our small group semester just restarted, with online, in-person, and hybrid groups in abundance — but maybe more than just showing up, Jesus wants us to participate in the discussions, and share our experiences honestly. Jesus wants us to serve the people around us like He did in His life, death, and resurrection. As we look forward to coming back together as a church, let’s think of the ways Jesus wants us to build each other up, and feed our appetite for loneliness with real community.

Dieter is the newly installed Blog Team Coordinator for the Life Church. He and his new wife Becca married on January 18th, 2020, (impeccable timing, if you ask them) They are keeping themselves busy during the pandemic with board games, long walks, and more board games.

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I really want a cheeseburger.

Trust me, I know how easy it is to get a cheeseburger right now, but we all know what I really miss. I want to go get a cheeseburger. I want to walk into a restaurant, sit down in a booth that might have been cleaned 2 shifts ago, and wait an hour and a half to order something I can make in my own home for half the price.

It’s strange what you miss when things change. Even though there are a hundred things I hated about pre-pandemic life, I find myself longing for the days I could subject myself to the traffic, the long lines, the feuding sports teams I can barely will myself to care about.

When we’re subjected to change, we’re often tempted to return to what we know. In times like this, when things seem so uncertain, familiar just looks so enticing. When plans fail, when life gets hard, or doesn’t turn out the way we hoped, it’s often easier to slide back into old habits even when those habits caused us trouble in the past.

Right now, there’s much talk of how we wish things were back to the way they were. But God has much better plans for us than regression.

The Apostle John records a story of his friend Peter dealing with exactly this. Before he was Jesus’ disciple, Peter was a fisherman. After 3 years experiencing incredible miracles, Jesus was crucified, and Peter abandoned him. When Jesus returned, Peter felt he had thrown away his chance, and returned to the familiar life of a fisherman. (John 21:1-3).

Then John records something incredible:

“At dawn Jesus was standing on the beach, but the disciples couldn’t see who he was. He called out, “Fellows, have you caught any fish?” “No,” they replied. Then he said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get some!” So they did, and they couldn’t haul in the net because there were so many fish in it.” (John 21:4-6)

In the midst of Peter’s pain and confusion, Jesus steps in and asks Peter to try His way. And when Peter recognizes Jesus as the man on the shore, Jesus calls him back into the relationship that would propel him into his future. (John 21:11-12).

Jesus views change differently than us. In this passage, we see a Jesus who never loses sight of His plan. When change comes, we often look backwards, but what about the future the change will bring? Yes, life is difficult because of the pandemic, and yes, life before was much easier, but Jesus isn’t concerned with where we’ve been. He is focused on what’s ahead, and wants us to move with Him. So instead of finding ways to return to the old, let’s join God in looking forward to what good changes this season will bring. Jesus is standing on the shore, calling us to lean in and trust Him with the future.

Dieter is the newly installed Blog Team Coordinator for the Life Church. He and his new wife Becca married on January 18th, 2020, (impeccable timing, if you ask them) They are keeping themselves busy during the pandemic with board games, long walks, and more board games.

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